Monday, June 2, 2014

Today...

Here is what I know: today I am not happy. 

Today I hate the way I look. In fact, I hate the way I look today more than I wish I had a boyfriend. 

Today I can't look in the mirror for more than 2 minutes without being disgusted at what I see. 

Today I feel as insecure as I did in middle school and I don't know why. 

Today I want to stay inside this apartment and not have to face anyone. Yet, I don't want to be alone. 

Today I feel all alone and ugly and angry and sad. That's a lot of emotions to have all at once. 

But yet, today I am doing my hardest to not let any of it show. So if you were to ask me how I am feeling today, I would lie and say I was doing great. Because that is what people want to hear. Not the real stuff. People can't handle the truth. 

I'm not sure why I wrote this post. I think I just wanted to get it out there. So there it is. I don't have cool lyrics to put down that describe how I'm feeling today. All you need to know is above. 

Okay, I'm done. 

-C

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